....Yeah Yeah
The Ancient Greeks believed in three different kinds of love: Agape, Phileo and Eros.
Eros is referred to as sensual love. Biblical scholars will tell you this kind of love is never mentioned in the bible, but it is commonly known as a lustful, sinful love. I like to think of it as love that appeals to any one or more of the five senses: sight, sound, taste, smell, touch.
You might really "love" the way something tastes, or "love" the way a the alpen glow reflects off of a snowy mountaintop when the sun sets, you might "love" the way someone looks, or the way something feels, etc.
Never-the-less, Eros is from where we get the word "erotic."
The little devil figure commonly refered to by Western culture as "Cupid" was known as Eros to the Greeks. Eros was a demon diety who was, in some stories, the son of Aphrodite. He was known as the god of lust, love and intercourse. Needless to say, it is believed that Eros inspired much of the music of that era.
Relationships that are based on Eros, i.e. sensual love, are often short lived and intense. Couples who are quick to say the words "I love you" most often are refering to Eros, because the other kinds of love usually take time to develop.
Phileo love is commonly refered to as "brotherly love." It is why Philidelphia is known as "the city of brotherly love." I like to think that Phileo love is the most common kind of love found today. It is the natural affection in people, or what might be called "The Good."
It is the kind of love you have for a very good friend or a family member. Many couples who say they are "in love" are more oftan than not refering to Phileo love.
The problem with Phileo love is that it is conditional. Couples can fall in and out of love if their love is based on Phileo. Relationships end, family members fight, it is very common to hear someone say "I used to love her" or "we just fell out of love." The essense of Phileo is that "so long as you maintain our relationship within its certain peramiters, I will love you back." But Phileo can fail if one or the other in the relationship goes beyond those boundries.
There is only one kind of love that can never fail.
Agape love is known as "unconditional" love. It is what Christians say the kind of love that God has for His creation. Similarly, I like to think of it as the kind of love a father or mother would have for his or her child. It is the only kind of love on which you can base a successful relationship.
"Unconditional" means you love that person no matter what they might do that hurts you or hurts themselves. I think it is possible, and very common, in relationships for one person to feel Agape love and the other feel Phileo or even Eros. That is why so many relationships fail.
Christians will tell you that it is impossible to feel Agape love without having a relationship with Jesus Christ. I like to think that Agape love is inherent in all human beings.
Agape love assumes that each and every human being has an innate "good" and if we could all learn how to channel that "good," then we wouldn't need a government. Of course, that argument is absurd.
History has shown time and time again that greed is also an inherent part of human nature. Greed and Agape do not mix, because greed is selfish and Agape is selfless.
I believe that every person has experienced unconditional love in one way or another, that we all have the capacity to experience and live it.
So the next time you tell someone you love them, you should think about what you are saying. Love is not something to be taken lightly, and it is a term that is commonly misinterprited. Many relationships start out with Eros, gradually grow into Phileo and sometimes can blossom into Agape.
But I think the most successful relationships usually begin as Phileo. Relationships based on Eros are doomed to fail. Marriages based on Phileo are doomed to fail.
Agape love is the true way to find peace in your life and in your relationships.
Buddhists are taught to show tolerance, forbearance and love to all men, without distinction; and an unswerving kindness towards animals.
Christians say that God is Agape love. Whatever you believe, it is only true "unconditional" love that can salvage a relationship, solve problems and lead you down the path of true happiness.
Just thought you should know...
